On the brighter side of things

No, I am not thinking suicidal thoughts. I simply wanted to express the previous article I wrote. It feels pleasant to be out of my system, at least for the moment. I'm still the bright, artificial being I am. Am I bright? I'm not sure. I think I am. I think I can. I think I can. I AM NOT THAT TRAIN THAT THOUGHT SHE COULD or whatever it was called. The first week of high school came and left finally, and it's now Friday night. I'm exhausted and amazed how a first week could've gone as slow as it did. It was like the third week of May, where you could see the light at the end of the tunnel, and you still had to wait ages more to arrive at the exit.

Watching Through the Glass

Have you ever felt as though you were in a glass box on wheels, with the wheels moving by themselves to different destinations? Have you ever felt the need to scream and shout and shake the nearest person to wake up from the foggy dream they've been living? Some days are those days. The days I just want to stay home and curl up into fetal position in a closet corner. I just want to scream and cry, not caring about how the rest of the world interacts. But no one can hear me. It's just a small voice in my head. A sad voice. A lonely voice. A voice crying to others. A voice waiting for a response. No one cares much anymore. There are billions of people out there. What's one less going to do? Nothing much. I know the voice in my head. It's just a sad voice. A lonely voice. A voice crying to others. A voice waiting for a response. It is a small voice. I'm tired of all of this madness. This rush. This chaos. I wish I could go back. Back to when time was not a matter. Back to when time had not been invented. Then, people wouldn't rush. Children would be sitting in meadows, staring at beautiful puffy white clouds and rich blue skies during the day, and snuggle under blankets watching the mysterious night scenery up above, with the Moon, Mars, and a hint of Jupiter, Saturn, Venus, and some star clouds. Life isn't like that at all is it? It's a one-way road. A long line waiting for the rollercoaster ride to some far place. We can't go back. No matter how hard we try. No matter how hard the voice struggles. I wish I could simply say "April Fools!" or "Psych!" or something to suggest that I'm joking, but I wish and wish to be allowed to go the wrong direction in a one-way road, to escape the impatient line always pushing forwards. Is it just me? Is it just that small voice in my head, smothered with thousands upon millions of other voices reminding me of whatever else I should be doing? Is it all right for me to stop worrying about what is the latest out from Apple? Is it all right for me to stop caring about what type of clothing I should be wearing instead of comfy old pajamas or the favorite shirt with small holes and threads coming out of the hem and worn out, faded shorts? I'm just weary. Weary, but pushed to continue. Pushed to continue, but with a ever-fading voice in my head, crying.

Life comes around again

It's amazing how long it has been since my last post ranting about going back to school. It's that time of year again, and Mr. Opportunity isn't knocking on the door. This year is the first year that I've had summer homework (I feel the pain now!), and I had to read The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck and Anthem by Ayn Rand. The former isn't half bad, but I had some fustrating moments with the latter. Life is going smoothly (so far), and I've gone to China for the 4th time in my life (I'm Chinese, if that makes any difference). I forgot what I had originally intended to put on here, but I'll try to remember it later...someday.